Radio Silence

I promise that I haven’t forgotten about my blog and I’ll do my best to catch you all up when the dust settles a bit. But in case you were wondering what has been preventing me from writing (besides 2 small kids):

  
We are moving across the country! Because why not? The cold and snow and Midwest just aren’t the fit for our family, so we’re headed back to Phoenix… With 2 small children…. During Christmas. 

See? That should explain why I’ve been so quiet and busy the last 2 months. But I’m here to let you all know that I haven’t died from an anxiety attack (yet). I’m saving that for the 4 day drive across country while explaining to my 3 year old everything that wasn’t left behind. 

  

5 Years Ago…

When I’m losing my control and the city spins around,

You’re the only one who knows and you slow it down. 

                   I’ll Look After You by The Fray

  
I’m not even going to try to summarize 5 years of marriage so this guy, so instead I’m just going to leave it as: I don’t regret a thing. 

Happy 5 year anniversary to us! I plan to spend the next 5 reminding Angel of the deal we made on our honeymoon to return to Bora Bora at 10 years.

  

There Is A Season (Turn, Turn, Turn)

It was a change so suble that I wouldn’t have even noticed it if my husband hadn’t mentioned it to me earlier in the evening.

“He’s getting older,” he said, “you probably shouldn’t kiss him on the lips any more”

Is he really that old? I thought.

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And then at bed time, my nearly 3 year old told me: “Kiss me on the cheek”

Did anyone else hear that?  That was the sound of a Mom’s heart breaking.  It was so quiet and so subtle that you only hear it if you’re listening for it, and you only listen when you know that it exists.  It was the first time that my son has vocalized that he is too old for something that Mom has been doing.  So are these now only okay when you’re sick, or have we grown out of those, too?  So where is the line now drawn?  Is it only bedtime?  Is it forever (an ever, amen)? Or was this just a one night thing? Oh please let it be a one night thing.

In the spirit of my kids growing up, Joshua started sleeping 10 hours a night this week.  Didn’t I just give birth to him?!image2

 

Except that was apparently 2 MONTHS ago!  Why didn’t time fly like this when I was knocked up?!  2 nights ago, he started sleeping for 10 hours and this is the face of someone who just slept 10 hours:

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And THIS is someone who really, really, really appreciated that:

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However, since then, he’s a lot less smiles and a lot more of this:

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It would appear that my kid is going through his very first legitimate growth spurt that is a pain in my ass.  He’s sleeping through the night like my favorite child, but now he’s eating all of the time during the day, really fussy when I set him down, and some days he almost isn’t my favorite child.  But he can’t ask “why?” yet, so most days he still is.  Except that my house is a mess, I have a “To Do” list 6 miles long, and I would love to be able to set him down 3 days into this.

And because I’m not even going to pretend to try to catch you up on the last 2 months of my life with 2 kids that I’ve been MIA on my blog, I’ll instead just tell you that this last week we joined Angel on his audit in Chicago.  We took the boys to the Shedd Aquarium with our friends who live there, went to the Nature Center, and generally had a great week while Daddy worked.

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Aaaaand there’s 2 months in one blog post, that doesn’t even begin what I’ve been up to for 2 months.  To summarize, my life is run by an army of tiny men, who I’ve created.

Moment To Brag

Since not everyone is on facebook, allow me a moment to brag about the men in my life who I’ve either picked or made, and who I get to share my life with.  We just got our amazing photos back from when Joshua was just a week old.  Enjoy!

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Forever Young

May God bless and keep you always

May your wishes all come true

May you always do for others

And let others do for you

May you build a ladder to the stars

And climb on every rung

May you stay forever young

May you grow up to be righteous

May you grow up to be true

May you always know the truth

And see the lights surrounding you

May you always be courageous

Stand upright and be strong

May you stay forever young
May your hands always be busy

May your feet always be swift

May you have a strong foundation

When the winds of changes shift

May your heart always be joyful

And may your song always be sung

May you stay forever young
   
   

Our New Normal

Wow! Hard to believe that only a week ago I was posting about being 39 weeks pregnant, miserable, and ready to be done.  Little did I know that the clock was already ticking and it was the calm before the storm.

I’ve been letting the pictures speak the words that I didn’t have, but now that we are adjusting it’s easier to sit down and chat a little bit about how this all went down.

To start,  allow me to remind you all that I had been saying for weeks that this little man was going to be coming early.  Mom is always right.  I was scheduled to go in Monday morning for my c section but in my head thought that by Friday I would have everything done that needed to be done (doctors, last minute errands, laundry, etc).  Feeling rather accomplished on Thursday, Angel and I were sitting on the couch after putting Lucas to bed and I kept asking him what time it was so that I could loosely keep an eye on how far apart my contractions were to make sure they were only Braxton Hicks (they were, and at this point that was par for the course every day).  We went to bed that night, nothing out of the ordinary.

About 4am, I woke up with contractions, which was also par for the course at this point so I went back to sleep.  The third time that I woke up I realized that I should perhaps time them and to my surprise they were exactly 15 minutes apart.  Enter: concern.

I went downstairs to sit on the couch and watch TV while I continued to time them.  By 6am they were 8 minutes apart.  Enter: Worry.

When Angel’s alarm went off for work, I struggled up the stairs between contractions and told him “Yeah, you’re not going to work today.”  He got Lucas up for me and was feeding him breakfast when my contractions suddenly dropped to 6 minutes apart (the time the doctor told me to go straight to labor and delivery).  I started calling friends to come get Lucas.  Enter: panic.

The contractions went back to 7 minutes so I went upstairs to get in the shower quickly and see if the warm water would calm them down.  I’m sitting down drying my hair and Angel comes up the stairs “Do you really think we’ll have to go to the hospital?” he asks me.  To which I reply “I think my water just broke!”  Enter: extreme panic.

According to the doctor, if my water broke, I needed to be in labor and delivery at the hospital within the hour.  I hurried to throw a few things in a bag, call my friend to wake her up so we could drop off Lucas on the way.  We threw things in the car as quickly as we could, ran down the street to drop off Lucas (literally with a bag of diapers and a sippy cup of water and told her “I’m sorry, we’ll call when we know more”), and flew to the hospital.  Checked into labor and delivery where they quickly confirmed that it was my water, and they were prepping me for a c section, which would take about 45 minutes.  Here come 4 nurses who are all setting me up with IVs, asking me questions, doing paperwork, etc.  I started sobbing all over again, having never had the time to take a breath and process what was going on.  My water broke at 9:30am, and at 11:58am, Joshua Nicolas Rivas was born into the world:

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and put into my arms:

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It was that fast.

A few hours in recovery waiting for me to regain the ability to feel and move my legs (while we surprised folks with a “so guess what we did this morning?” message), and Joshua and I made it upstairs into a regular room.  Angel went to go pick up Lucas and bring him to meet his brother while I enjoyed the morphine on a push button every 8 minutes.  My only complaint about it is that it made me sooo sooo incredibly tired that I literally couldn’t keep my eyes open when paired with the fact that I woke up at 4am and JUST HAD A BABY.  So I dozed in and out for the rest of the day while my boys met each other for the first time:

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Angel had to go home at night to put Lucas to bed and let the dog out, and I stayed in the hospital with the amazing nurses to take care of the smallest of our clan and myself.  A few days of this with Lucas spending the day with us in my hospital room and nights at home and an occasional break with friends in the area, Angel was on his way to get my parents from the airport while I was working on the discharge paperwork to go home.

Now we’re working on a new normal.  Lucas loves his brother, who is a champion sleeper and eater.  So far, if I feed him when we go to sleep around 11, he wakes up once around 5am and then again around 9am.  We’ve made it out of the house a few times even, and Lucas is doing as well as you would expect a 2 year old who just got his mom’s attention cut in half to do.  Today he seems pretty desperate for my attention, but he’s so in love with his grandparents being here that it’s been easy to keep him occupied.  He may be giving them a run for their money though, because this afternoon I caught them both sleeping on the couch while I could hear Lucas playing with toys in his room during “nap” time.  They were successful in wearing someone out, just maybe not who they intended.

Cheers to my life full of boys!

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Hello! My Name Is…

Well, I woke up in the middle of the night Friday morning with contractions. When they started to get close to the 6 minute mark I hopped in the shower and to my surprise my water broke! In what turned out to be a very fast and hectic morning, Joshua Nicolas Rivas joined us just before noon on the 24th at 6 pounds 10 ounces, 20 inches long. Everyone is doing well!

   
    
    
 

The End.

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Baby is:

  • Get out.
  • Get out.
  • Get out.

I am:

  • Get out.
  • Get out.
  • GET OUT!

Oh, the memories:

  • Seriously, get out.

Surprising:

  • You haven’t lived until you’ve been 40 weeks pregnant in the summer.  I love my old doctor even more for inducing Lucas at exactly 39 weeks because GET OUT.
  • Getting a mix of contractions and Braxton Hicks all day, all  night.  So far the closest they have gotten together is 10 minutes, but if they hit 6 I’m to go straight to labor and delivery.  Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.  And some of them- ouch!  This kid hates me already.

Lots of love this week to my friends with pools who have had pity on me and let me be a beach whale in their backyards.  You saved my life and made these last few days of pregnancy as enjoyable as they could be.

I’ve ended this adventure about 30 pounds heavier.  “Healthy” for my weight range was 25-35 so I pretty much nailed it.  My blood pressure still rocks, baby’s heart rate is still awesome, and no alarming swelling.  If I didn’t hate being pregnant so much, it would look like I’m great at it.  But alas, I’m like a turtle on its back and move about as quickly as a sloth.  My 2 year old knows how to put on my shoes for me and likes to remind me that he’s “too heavy for mama to carry” which is an adorable slap in the face.  At least he’s too small to realize that he can use this to his advantage and willingly does what I ask instead of throwing himself on the ground.

Yesterday at nap after I read Lucas a book and we were snuggling in the “big boy bed” he showed me his Mickey Mouse doll (kid’s favorite toy.  I’m rarely allowed to take it long enough to put in the washing machine) and said proudly “I’m going to give this to baby brother when he comes.”  I cried big, fat, hormonal tears over how sweet my little boy’s personality has become.  We play this game where I’ll say “I love you” and Lucas says “I love you, too” and I’ll say “I love you, too, too” and you get the idea.  This week he came up to my belly and said to his brother “I love you, too, too, too!”  I hope this baby grows up to be as sweet as Lucas is growing up to be because I’m loving my caring, snuggly, little toddler tornado.

And if all else fails, they’ll make for great slave labor.