Monthly Archives: June 2013

Let’s Pretend This Never Happened


I had to run to the fabric store to pick up more black minky fabric for a Mickey Mouse security blanket that I was making for a friend.  Really, it’s a thrilling life that I lead up here in the tundra.  Anyway, I had about 10 minutes before Lucas needed to take a nap.  Jo-Ann Fabric is like my black hole.  I could spend hours in there and not realize that the store closed 30 minutes ago.  So even though I knew exactly what I wanted, 10 minutes is not enough.

I decided to stretch out my time by giving him cereal that he now knows how to feed himself.  It worked like a charm until he ran out, started screaming, and all of a sudden I realize that the odd looks that I’m getting are because Lucas has cereal all over his face and stuck in his hair.  I take him out of the stroller to try to clean him up, and while I’m holding him he pukes all over me and the fabric that I was holding and then starts giggling while the lady who works there is staring at me with a horrified expression on her face.

“We’ll go ahead and take a full yard of that.”


Well, let’s get on with it while I still have a shred of dignity intact.  Here’s the stuff that I did while I wasn’t here:

Read a book called I Just Want To Pee Alone which literally had me laughing out loud.  Has your kid ever unbuttoned your shirt in church?  Because until he has, you’re not going to find the humor in this.  Luckily for me, Lucas totally has.  I’m so not kidding.  And it took me about 20 minutes to realize that my bra was hanging out.  We should probably find a new church now.

Took Lucas on a picnic after picking strawberries at a local farm with a few lovely moms who I’ve met.  Really, I just used their children as cheap slave labor while mine gave my back hickies from the comfort of his baby carrier.  And then we ate.




Lucas learned how to feed himself baby cereal.  He now screams when he runs out.  I would like to think that he’s just trying to find his voice.



Sitting in the stroller like a big boy now!  No more car seat for him


We spent Father’s Day in Saugatuck, which is a cute little beach town against Lake Michigan.  Lucas was a little less amused by the nice weather and grass than Angel and I were


Just as I suspected: I birthed a future Sun Devil.



Formula One Melt Down

Tonight was Lucas’ first formula bottle.  It was in the making since my boobs put themselves into retirement this week, but it was a little sad that my little “man” is exactly that- a man!  I keep trying to remind myself that my mom only nursed my brother for 6 months and he turned out to be an engineer so I’m not hurting him, but part of me just feels bad that I’m not doing something that I feel like I’m supposed to be.  And that’s a big part.  If this is something that I’m made to do, why did my boobs decide that they were done?  I mean, it’s probably about time (since I don’t hug trees in my spare time), but I still feel a little heart broken that I’m done with that milestone in Lucas’ life.  Let’s be real- dude eats his shoes.  You’d think I’d be fine.

Getting on with it, here’s my week in photos:

Turns out that it IS legal o cage your children

Turns out that it IS legal to cage your children

My Little Dude wakes up smiling.  How lucky am I?

My Little Dude wakes up smiling. How lucky am I?

No words needed

No words needed

His favorite toy continues to be: Mom.

His favorite toy continues to be: Mom.

Play time in the dog bed

Play time in the dog bed


Looks like we've grossly overpaid for his crib.

Looks like we’ve grossly overpaid for his crib.


I Could Go For A Glass of Wine

Guess who’s free to start drinking more, and only partially by choice?  Yep, this marks the end of nursing.  I knew that it was coming, but I wasn’t sure that I was ready to give up the time that I get with my baby yet.  So, my body went ahead and made the choice for me and stopped making enough food to feed my ever hungry child and gave me the middle finger in the process.  Lucas was less happy for a few days and expressed himself in a less pleasant and more vocal way when it finally dawned on me that my little man is probably hungry and maybe I’m not making enough anymore.  So I went upstairs to pump a bottle and 20 minutes later I had nothing.  So I pulled a bottle out of the freezer and went ahead and shed a few tears along side Lucas.  I’m now down to nursing three times a day (morning, night, and once in the middle of the day) and I plan on cutting out that middle of the day feeding soon.  If my goal for nursing was only 6 months and I’m 2 weeks past that, why am I so sad to be forced to slow down the dairy service?

Unfortunately for Lucas, I’ve finally discovered the “silence” button on the baby monitor.  That took a grand total of 2 seconds to start treating it like a snooze button in the middle of the night when he wakes me up.  I probably hit it a few times before I actually wake up.  Maybe frustration is at the root of his awesome sleep now that I’ve figured out the food situation.  Last night I put him to bed at 8:30 and he didn’t wake me up until 7.  And yesterday he only took 2 naps, but they were solid, 2 hour naps.  Even with my movement monitor I kept going in to check on him because I couldn’t believe that he was still sleeping.  And let me add, with a 2 hour break from baby duty I finally have free time!!  You know, to do laundry, cook, and run Angel’s errands.  All of the important things (insert eye roll).

Speaking of sleeping, we’ve now entered the stage of crashing in the middle of activities.  The man can’t help it if he’s suddenly tired!

Fell asleep crawling across the room

Fell asleep crawling across the room

Fell asleep mid jump

Fell asleep mid jump

Today I learned that Lucas is scared of the blender.  I don’t know how to explain it, but it was almost like he was more scared for what it was going to do to me than what it was going to do to him.  He was crawling on the floor in the kitchen while I got dinner together and when I turned on the blender he started screaming, whining, shaking, and holding out his arms for me to come pick him up while he looked at me with these eyes that were about to explode into a pool of waterworks.  I’ve never seen anything like it.  The blender is Lucas’ kryptonite.


Mommy Speed Bump

Mommy Speed Bump

Not only am I his favorite toy to play with (or crawl on), he’s started pulling himself up totally on his own!  What the heck is going on here?  I was laying on the couch half asleep (see: poor sleep for days until I figured out he wasn’t eating enough), and all of a sudden the Leapfrog table started making noise.  Thinking that the table was haunted, as I recently learned it was, I was about to turn it off and instead saw this:


Which is him playing with his car under the table, pulling himself up to play with the table, and then going back to playing with his car.  Ugh!  Another sign that he’s growing up entirely too quickly.

Continuing the trend of growing up too quickly, on Tuesday afternoon I actually got the opportunity to do all of my grocery shopping at once.  Why?  You may ask.  Well that’s because this munchkin’s car seat doesn’t fit in the top of the grocery cart in the store that I shop in, so I have to put it in the cart which only leaves me with 2 square inches of space for my groceries.  Now that Lucas is getting better at sitting on his own, I took a chance and sat him in the cart like a big, little man.  And he did great!  He loved looking around….


And GRABBING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT!  Things off of the shelves, things in my hands, things in the cart, eating the side of the cart, screaming, crying, throwing his pacifier, and then melting down roughly 5 minutes before I was done shopping because he was tired and couldn’t just fall asleep in his car seat anymore.  Ladies and gentlemen, it’s the start of the end.  Grocery shopping just became infinitely more difficult and I now understand what moms complain about.

(may be an add at the beginning of the clip)

Never Grow Up

Let me start by saying that I’m pretty emotional tonight.  Lucas sits by himself in the bathtub, plays with toys, and then quietly sits on my lap with his bottle while I read him his bedtime story.

Hold up.

When did my sweet newborn, who kept me up all hours, turn into this little boy holding his bottle and quietly looking at the pictures in the Finding Nemo story that I’m reading?  And then he just quietly put himself to sleep in his crib without even so much as a peep?  And odds are that he’s not going to make a peep now until about 7am.  Am I really the one who taught him this?  I don’t even know how I did that.  If I charged everyone a dollar who told me that he was “such a good baby” then we would already have college set.  But how did he learn that?  And what happened to my newborn in the hospital who didn’t know how to nurse so we had to bottle feed?


What I wouldn’t give to Tivo the moments so that I can relive taking him home from the hospital, laugh at how slow Angel drove, and how neither of us said a word because we were so scared for the unknown


His first diaper blow out resulting in his first bath at home


His first intentional smile at me while I was strolling through Kohls looking for pants without an elastic waist


And all of the cuddles that got us from one milestone to the next

IMG_0786Where did all of that go?

To you everything’s funny, you’ve got nothing to regret
I’d give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

-Taylor Swift

I still remember that first night how I couldn’t get myself in and out of bed so I kept asking Angel to go check that he was still breathing in his Pack n Play right next to me.  He woke us up every 4 hours and we were so tired but just handed him back and forth to cuddle with on the couch all day long.  Now we have baby gates to keep him from crawling all over the house while I’m in the bathroom yelling “Mommy just wants to pee alone!”

I’m drowning in laundry, dirty bottles, and baby toys.  If the dishwasher isn’t running, the back of my mind won’t stop telling me to get up and load it.  And when the dryer is on, I cringe and the thought of having to put those sheets back because I feel like I JUST PUT THEM ON THE BED YESTERDAY.  If I had a bruise for every time his car seat has hit me in the shin getting him in and out of my car- oh wait, I do.  He screams when he sees me leave the room, he pulls my hair while he crawls all over me if I lay on the floor, and he tries to roll off of the table every time that I change his diaper- which feels like every hour on the hour for the rest of my life.

But then night time comes and he splashes and squeals in the bath, quietly drinks his bottle while laying in my lap, and he looks at me with those big eyes like he doesn’t know how to feel anything except safe and happy.


I cherish the moments: The good, the bad, and the ugly.  But I feel like they are going so quickly and I can’t find the pause button on my remote.