I interrupt the entertaining blog to bring you the following PSA: The fat lady has stretch marks.

This morning when I was getting ready for work I noticed red lines below my belly button (in the mirror, obviously, since I haven’t seen my belly button first hand in months).  It took me a minute to process what they were: “What are- wait- oh, hell”  Yep, that’s about the thought process.  35 weeks in, and stretch marks made their grand and not-very-graceful appearance.

I could blame the stretch marks on the fact that I ate both my and my husband’s dinner last night, but where’s the fun in that?  Baby was hungry.  How’s this for a typical pregnancy dinner: chicken fajitas, sliced apples, and artichokes.  Angel started laughing at me when I told him what was for dinner, but the joke was totally on him when I ate both artichokes.  In my defense, I did ask first and he was just too nice to turn down the larger-than-life hormonal wife who is carrying his baby.  He’s a very smart man.

So imagine my surprise when I woke up at 4am and my tummy hurt because I was starving.  This baby is packing on the pounds now and I have the stretch marks to prove it!  In nature’s cruel joke, I now wake up every 2 hours (exactly) to use the restroom.  Lovely, right?

In spite of this all, I got 10 hours of sleep and I’m ready for my last 3 days of work!