I’m 41 days into my “100 Happy Days” spin-off project and I’m happy (pun intended) to report that it’s working. I’m less bitter, smiling more, and getting my sense of humor back. Conveniently, this is just in time for the “Terrible Two’s” to strike the Rivas household…. with gusto.
I’m not going to publicly shame my kid but I will say that he doesn’t share this sentiment. His favorite word is “nonononononono” while shaking his head and if it’s something he has to do like be put into a shopping cart or get his finger out of the plug it’s “NOOOOOO” in the loudest screech possible by questionably human toddlers. His favorite move is the back twist to get away from you picking him up and then he immediately throws himself on the ground and cries and thrashes like I’m trying to hit him with a baseball bat and he needs to get away from me. I tell you this all because I want to warn anyone who may cross paths with me anywhere that I’m really not chasing my toddler down with a baseball bat or leaving him in the donation pile at Goodwill, I’m just doing my best to raise a polite member of society so please watch your feet because he’s likely throwing a fit on the floor in the process of this quest. His favorite places to throw fits:
1. The grocery store. No, you may not play with the chili seasoning, the milk must stay in the cart, that wine bottle is not for you.
2. The parking lot. I’m not going to take your sippy cup away from you, it is necessary for you to be in the car seat, I don’t have a ball that you can play with.
3. In the rain. I can’t stop the rain from hitting your head, nonono don’t throw a fit- ….on the wet ground.
4. On playdates. Can you hurry this one up, sweetie? Mommy has to run to the grocery store to get rice and I would really appreciate if you save it for the onlookers there.
For all of you judgmental folks who are giving me looks like I need to peel my kid off of the grocery store floor because this is more my fault than his or all of you readers who have never had a toddler and are sitting there thinking “my kid would never do that.” Let me set the record straight: Yes, yes they will. But I promise to not give you the same looks that you’re giving me. I’ll instead mask my disgust with your toddler by looking at my well behaved child and saying “Oh, I’m so lucky that you never did that!”
This is why mom’s drink.
Anyway, I’m a few days behind on my happiness posts. Yesterday it was our Special Wednesday (which was a trip to Barnes and Noble to play with Legos because it was cold and rainy):
And today it was just having fun at the dinner table making this ball of joy giggle. Lucas will never have a better Mom than me (even when I let him throw his fits in public).