What Makes A Mom?

So I was planning this whole witty post about how the move went,  but instead I’m going to write a little about the move and a lot about my crap-tacular day.

First: the move.  We had our stuff delivered from storage on Tuesday.  So Tuesday morning we wake up early to drive over to the house and wouldn’t you guess, but we woke up to another big snow storm.  (Sarcastic) yay!  When we get to the house we get a call from the movers that they are going to be late because they are driving down from Grand Rapids in the snow and the weather is pretty bad.  They finally get here, and I can only properly describe the day as “emotionally trying.”  One of the first items off of the truck was our patio table, and 8 hours later when everything was off there was probably a foot of snow on the table.  It’s not enough that it was snowing like I live at a ski resort, but there were probably 20 mile an hour winds as well. Kill me.

The movers broke Lucas’ crib and put a hole in the wall of our rental.  The hole shouldn’t be a problem seeing as how the owners are so picky that we have a clause in our rental agreement regarding the number of nail holes we are allowed to put in the walls.  But that was only nail holes and didn’t say anything about mover-created punch-out holes.  So we should probably be fine (enter: sarcastic eye roll).

So anyway, I’ve spent the rest of the week getting internet set up and enough of the boxes unpacked that I could make beds and we could get the hell out of that apartment and all that it entails.  The morning of the internet guy it’s still snowing like crazy and Angel and I decide that we are sleeping in the house come hell or high water snow.  I bring the dog with me and she’s still a little confused about where we are and what we’re doing to her.

I start with Lucas’ nursery before all else so that the baby has somewhere to sleep.  Because I’m so obsessed with it, nursery 2.0 is nearly immaculate before I start on anything else in the house:

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I then move on to making my bed and clearing a path to the nursery and as soon as I pull the sheets out of the box, something clicks in Molly’s mind, and she finally realizes what’s going on:

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She slept with her nose buried in my down comforter for over an hour before I could get her off and make the bed.  It was like she hasn’t slept in a month since our house was packed and finally realized that she was home.  I understand, dog.  I get you.  So I made our bed and started to unpack clothes to make room for us to move in our bedroom.

While I was unpacking, I caught my supervisor sleeping on the job a few times:

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One looooooong day and 7K+ Nike Fuel Points later, I call it a day and am about to crawl into bed with Angel says to me “I’m in the mood for hot chocolate and Amazon videos on the iPad.” and once the idea was planted, I thought it sounded great.  The only problem?  I hadn’t stepped anywhere near the kitchen yet.  So we went down thinking how hard can it be to find a giant Keurig machine in a box? The answer: hard.  An hour later, we have found the mugs, the hot chocolate and cider k cups…. everything EXCEPT the Keurig!!  The last box that it could possibly be in and I start diving in.  All of a sudden I see black and silver amazingness and scream “Yes!!!!!” and start throwing around packing paper like it’s going out of style.  Except when I get it out of the box I quickly notice that the freaking water tank isn’t with it.  Which means that it’s somewhere in one of the 23 kitchen boxes that we have in front of us (assuming that that really is all of the kitchen boxes and none made it downstairs, like, say, my underwear getting stacked in the basement with Angel’s tools and painting supplies).  God must have had mercy on us, because I found it only 5 minutes later and about an hour and a half after we started looking.  Here is what our “kitchen” looked like after the hunt:

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Then yesterday it’s more of the same and we get DirecTV installed and rejoin the world of trashy TV.

So on to today’s crap-tastic events.  Angel was going to be home from 12:30-2 and I planned on leaving the baby with him and actually venturing out on my own minus baby for the first time in about a month.  He agreed and the second he got home I was gone.  I had to go to Target to get a few things to organize the house so I could finish unpacking the kitchen and to Babies R Us to get a sleep sack for Lucas.

To properly get you into my state of mind, let’s start with the sleep sack.  Okay, so our new location is a tad colder than sunny Phoenix.  As a result, at night it’s a touch colder as well.  We still swaddle Lucas, but he’s too active at night now and gets out of it.  It takes him about 2 hours in his sleep but once he does he gets cold and then wakes up and cries.  So I asked my mommy friends and came up with the idea to get a sleep sack, which is like a sleeping bag that he wears and can’t get out of when he moves around.  So I’m standing in the aisle and I think the stress of the move hits me.  I start BAWLING.  Okay, there are cotton ones and fleece ones and ones that swaddle and ones that don’t.  Lucas like’s to be swaddled but you don’t want the baby too warm with the fleece but he’s too cold now so will the cotton be enough?  But then what size do I need since he’s between them?  I don’t want to have to replace it in a week but I don’t want it so loose that he suffocates himself in his cold sleep.  And I think you get the idea.  Here’s a crazy lady in the aisle at Babies R Us sobbing over swaddling blankets.

I make it to Target but then run out of time to go to the grocery store before Angel has to be back to work so I run home.  Now, sidebar, I’ve been subtly asking Angel to shovel the driveway every day that we’ve been here and it keeps snowing.  But he drives an SUV so snow is no big deal.  Okay, so I get home today and my car gets stuck half way up our seemingly-mile-long driveway.  I think to myself “f it” throw the car it park and go inside.  I annoyingly tell Angel not to hit my car on his way out as I’m putting on my hat and gloves to go throw snow around for a few minutes.  So I tell Angel to put Lucas somewhere safe (like his crib) while I’m outside.  Mentally, I know I have about 20 minutes before he’s going to need to eat and I need to get rolling to get my car in the garage.  So I start shoveling, Angel gets ready for work, and leaves telling me that he’ll call me when he’s done and I tell him that’s fine but my phone is inside so I’ll see it when I’m done.

20 minutes later I go to head inside to wake up and feed Lucas and Oh My God, the door is locked.  LOCKED!  So here I am with my phone, keys, and BABY inside the house that I am now locked out of 2,000 miles away from anyone I know.  I calmly check all of the doors while mentally looking for rocks to throw through a freaking window to get to my baby but decide that I’ve been enough crazy for one day.  So I remember the landlord telling me that the neighbors are an old couple and I figured that they would probably be home in the middle of the afternoon.  I walk over, knock on the door, and am sobbing when I introduce myself as the neighbor who just moved next door and I’ve locked myself out of the house trying to shovel the driveway and my 3 month old is upstairs so can I please use their phone to call my husband and/or a lock smith?  Long story short, 2 hours later I’m sitting on the step, leaning against my door crying I assume as hard as Lucas is upstairs while Angel tries to pick the lock with an old credit card and we wait or a locksmith.  Right about the time the locksmith gets the door open I’m about to come undone and just start running up the stairs to grab Lucas, who is screaming this blood-curdling scream like I have never heard before.  I come downstairs 20 minutes later with baby in tow and it starts snowing and I tell Angel (pardon the french): “I’m not going anywhere near that fucking snow shovel!” And then I make him take me to dinner because I never made it to the grocery store and it’s hard to cook anyway when you won’t set your baby down.

Once I calm down I call my mom to tell her about this and she says to me “some people think that having a baby makes them a mom.  It’s things like this that make you a mom.”  She’s a wise woman.

And that’s how we came about getting a spare key to the house.

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