Today I came across two women who are desperately trying to have a baby and thus far have been unsuccessful. It serves as a reminder to me how lucky I am to have my son. I came to this revelation between his screaming in my ear while I was trying to burp him, and his throwing up on me after he burped. And you know what? I still feel lucky.
I also feel extremely thankful for the opportunity to stay home with my little man for at least the next few years. I always planned on going back to work because I never thought that I would be able to afford to stay home, and I feel lucky that I have the chance to stay home now. Now that my little guy is 2 months old, I can’t wrap my head around paying someone else to enjoy all of the fun firsts that are coming, see him smile, and play with him while I go to my marginally pleasing job.
In more lighthearted news, today I had another “Sorry about that, Mom” moment while I was at the mall with Lucas purchasing jeans that fit the new body that he gave me. I’ve been living 8 weeks in sweat pants and leggings and have decided that that’s not going to fly in Michigan where it’s a little bit colder. So I threw in the towel, went through my pre-pregnancy jeans, and gave away the American Eagle jeans that were made for girls who don’t have hips (I don’t fall into this classification anymore). My tummy may still go back to the flat that I once knew, but those hips are here for the long haul. While I was trying my jeans on to see which ones I can keep, I realized that a lot of the low rise jeans that I had weren’t made for a mom who constantly bends down to pick up a baby, a baby in a car seat, a pacifier that the baby threw on the floor, or to retie my shoes (What? Not everything in my life is “baby.” I still have my shoelaces). So I’m keeping this and my muffin top in mind when I’m out looking for jeans and end up with two of the most attractive “Mom Jeans” that Dillards sells. Don’t know what “Mom Jeans” are? I suggest you watch more old Saturday Night Live, or just check out this:
“Give her something that says ‘I’m not a woman anymore. I’m a mom!‘”
I used to make fun of my mom for these, and now this is totally my life! Thanks to my adorable baby, I have an ass that rappers love to sing about and the option to show plumbers crack or leave the pacifier on the floor of the store as another casualty of the situation.
The jean situation reminded me of this week’s Modern Family episode where the older daughter is babysitting the young son on New Year’s Eve. The boy invites a girl over and when the daughter kicks the girl out of the house, the son storms away and the daughter yells after him “Some day you’ll thank me for this!!….. Oh my God. I owe Mom a big apology.”
I have a feeling that I’m going to feel this way more and more for at least the next 18 years. Starting with my new Mom Jeans with a waistband so high that I can tuck in both my rapper ass and my hazardous boobs (because those took up a new home somewhere just north of my belt).
Babies are adorable so that we don’t eat our young because let’s be honest here- if he wasn’t cute, none of this would be worth it.
I’m going to go change out of my puke stained pajamas now and cross my fingers for 4 hours of sleep.
He’s lucky he’s cute.