I’m not entirely sure how far along I am now. 26? 27? 28? Somewhere in there.  I was just informed by Angel that I’m 27.  I’m sure glad that one of us is keeping track, although I’m a little concerned as to how he knows that so quickly….

Allow me to take a moment to welcome myself officially into the third trimester.  I’m in the home stretch now!!!  And while it was slightly terrifying to be told at 20 weeks to pre-register for the hospital because at “this point it’s a delivery either way,” I’m a little less freaked out that Mini Me is planning to arrive to the party before the invitations go out.  Nobody wants to be “that guy” and I’m glad that he’s learning this at an early age.

Although, can I say: Holy Braxton Hicks contractions!!  I know they’re “normal” but seriously, little man, cooperate with Mommy here because we still have 13 weeks to go and there are better ways to get your point across for me to drink more water than taking my breath away and then starting me in a progressive panic.  On Saturday morning I told Angel that I am determined to stay out of the hospital while I downed my third GIANT bottle of water.  I said this all because if I get more than 4 an hour, it’s like pulling the “Go directly to Jail!” card in Monopoly.  Pregnancy books say that dehydration can cause them, so I spent the better part of my weekend drinking and peeing and watching the clock.  I’m happy to report that thus far I have been successful in staying out of the hospital system although at one point I did count three an nearly burst into tears.

In another bad decision, we were at a pool party on Saturday and I exchanged my bottled water for a red keg cup of sunkist orange soda (living the life of a rock star, clearly).  As a general rule of thumb, fruit soda does not have caffeine, but as I always liked to remind my mom when I was little “there are exceptions to every rule.”  I haven’t had caffeine since February and about half way through my drink I started to feel a little…. off.  Mini Me was clearly feeling the same thing because: OH MY GOD! What are you- Ouch! That hurt! Wait, little man, I need you to- wowza! Okay, okay!  My little man went on a caffeine binge and decided to redecorate his room- with gusto.  So for anyone reading this and keeping track, Sunkist orange soda DOES indeed have caffeine.

Mini Me is 2 pounds and 15 inches of adorable baby-ness.  His eyes open and close now, and he enjoys moving (especially when given caffeine).  His kicks are a tad more painful than they were before and they reach areas that I wasn’t aware his little appendages were long enough to reach.  Seriously, I didn’t know it was possible to kick my left hip while punching my right rib, but I’m here to clarify that it is, in fact, possible because Mini Me is doing just that as I type this.  He’s still breathing, drinking, and peeing amniotic fluid getting ready for the real deals.

With that said, here’s what I imagine that my baby looks like this week: